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:iconmisskelsee: More from MissKelsee


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Submitted on
November 30, 2008
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That moment when you fall;
when your legs forget how to stand,
when each rise and fall of your chest sends
a shockwave to every nerve, hitting like
a tsunami upon every grain of sand

That moment when you drop;
when your arms forget how to reach,
when you become lifeless,
your limbs hanging uselessly at odd angles

That moment when you die;
when your soul two steps out of your body,
twirling and dancing on the winds,
when your breath seems meaningless,
because oxygen can't save you when you're already gone
I believe in this statement,
but I don't believe in you.

< /3

Don't steal anything from me.
Kaythanks.
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:iconwhench3wysmiles:
This is tragically beautiful and I love it.
Descriptions of death are always interesting because they vary so drastically based on perspective.
I think this one is one of my favorites... two stepping out of your body... amazing line.
Reply
:iconmisskelsee:
Thank you,
Maybe this comes from my belief that no matter how painful
your death is, the transition is always peaceful,
and if not peaceful,
slow and longing
Reply
:iconwhench3wysmiles:
That's true. It must be more of a relief to die and know that you're going on to a much simpler and more peaceful place. It seems almost comforting.
Reply
:iconnuisance15:
I think it's breathtaking. Go figure! lol
It's very powerful. I espescially love the last stanza... It's so very... for lack of a better word, poetic. "When your breath seems meaningless, because oxygen can't save you when you're already gone." Absolutely splendid. :clap
:hug:
~M
Reply
:iconmisskelsee:
wow <3

and the last sentence?
it came suddenly when I had this exact moment happen to me,
two times,
and what happened afterward,
wasn't so poetic.
Reply
:iconnuisance15:
mmm.... I'm sorry, luv.
:hug:
~M
Reply
:iconmisskelsee:
Thanks,
but I'll be ok.
We live,
we hurt,
we thrive.
It happens,
it'll happen again,
and I'll always be ok.

<3
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Nov 30, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not sure if I like this line:

when your soul two steps out of your body,

It doesn't seem fitting to me.
Reply
:iconmisskelsee:
well I like it.
it's staying.
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Nov 30, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
You're really outrageously negative, almost seem offensive. We can have opinions can't we? I mean you're posting your work for others to read.
Reply
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